The doctor on call, Dr. D, was making rounds and he asked me what was wrong. I had been in tears all morning because my ribs hurt so bad and I could barely breathe. My nurse had already given me Tylenol and tried everything she could think of to help, but nothing was working. Dr. D said I could try muscle relaxers and wrapping my ribs to see if that would help. Before he left my room he also told me that if I was done, we could deliver today. Just call him anytime. I told him we can see if the muscle relaxers and wrapping my ribs helped and then go from there.
The muscle relaxers didn’t help at all and wrapping my ribs made it harder to breathe. I was on the phone with my mom, crying, so she got off work early and came to the hospital. The decision to deliver the babies was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. I thought by choosing to deliver them, it meant I was weak. I wanted to be strong and give them the best chance possible. I called Joe, because he was at the office, and talked to him about it even though I knew what he was going to say. He supported whatever I wanted.
I called Dr. D. He said he was going to call Dr. F., my primary OB, and make arrangements. He called me back around 7 in the evening and said that my c section was scheduled for 9:30 pm. As soon as he told me this I was extremely nervous, but ready. Dr. F came by to talk to me about everything. Everything went by so quickly. By the time 9:30 came around I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia. My doctor told me they would have delivered that evening anyways due to the pre-eclampsia. I knew my body was done before I even started showing any signs.
I had one of my favorite night nurses on that night. Which helped a lot because I was so nervous. I knew that after the babies were born there was nothing I could do to help them. It was all out of my hands. I kept telling myself that 32 weeks was better than 24 weeks, which was when I was admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor. 32 weeks was better than 29 weeks, which was when I had pulmonary edema, collapsed lungs, and congestive heart failure. 32 weeks was the average gestation that triplets are born. I still felt guilty becasue as a mom you still want to do more for your children. Most importantly I had Joe holding my hand the whole time. My night nurse prepped me for the c-section and wheeled me down to the operating room.
The anesthesiologist was getting ready to put my epidural in and the nurses asked me to bend over more. I was so irritated I told them, “I literally can’t bend over any further. I have three babies in my belly and it’s huge.” The anesthesiologist laughed and said “she’s fine.” I instantly liked him. He was so kind and helpful throughout the entire operation. Having Joe wait outside the operating room while they prepped me was terrifying. I just wanted him there to hold my hand the entire time. When they brought him in I was so relieved to have him by my side again. He was so excited to meet our babies that it started to wear off on me and I became more excited than nervous.
Dr. F and Dr. D came in to start the c-section. As soon as Malia started to cry I was so relieved that her lungs were strong. I knew at that moment that she was going to be okay. Before Dr. F said, “Baby A is a girl” and before I looked at her I knew by her cry that she was a girl. I clung to that brief image I had of her crying because the doctors passed her through the window to the other room, which they keep warm for the babies, so they could assess her.
While they were taking out Baby B, I told Joe, ” I can breathe again!” I felt them pull out Mathis, and Dr. D says , “he has really big hands.” I thought to myself, ” that’s the first thing you tell me about my baby? Not oh he is so cute and adorable? No, he has big hands… Well maybe he will be like uncle?” As they are suctioning Mathis, I kept repeating to myself, “please cry, please cry, please cry”. As soon as Mathis started crying, they held him up so I could see him. I clung to this precious moment because I didn’t know how long it would be before I would be able to see him again.
I felt my doctor reaching all the way up by my ribs and Dr. F says, ” he is literally under your ribs and he doesn’t want to come out.” All I could think was, ” I know! Why do you think I have been in so much pain!” He instantly starts crying and I’m so relieved. I hardly get a moment to see him before they are passing him through the window. I thought something was wrong with him. It wasn’t until after the doctors finished closing me up that Dr. F told me I had lost 1 litter of blood and they had to put an extra stitch in my uterus to get it to contract back down. I realized then that Lucas was okay. They had to hurry because I was loosing too much blood not because something was wrong with him.
I feel that, knowing my babies were going to straight to the NICU when they were born helped a little bit because I wasn’t expecting to be able to hold them or see them right away but, it was still hard. The 4 hours in recovery felt like I was waiting days. My blood pressure was still really high due to the preeclampsia and they had to get it down before they could take me to see my babies. My mom met me in recovery because Joe went down to the NICU with the babies. My dad and in- laws all were allowed to visit me in recovery. I think the nurse felt bad because I couldn’t go see my babies and she was trying to distract me until I could go see them. Joe even came back up to recovery because they had told us I would be in recovery for about an hour and then I could see my babies. So when it had been a few hours and the babies were all settled in he started to worry. I told him to go back down and be with the babies. I wanted at least one of us to be there with them. After 4 hours of being in recovery and it being 2:30 in the morning, I was finally able to see my babies. Lucas was our strong little guy and was breathing on his own. Lucas weighed 2 lbs 14 oz, Malia weighed 3 lbs 11 oz, and Mathis weighed 3 lbs 8 oz. Malia and Mathis were also doing extremely well and just needed extra pressure to make sure the air sacs in their lungs stayed open and to prevent apnea.
I thought that seeing my babies hooked up to so many wires and a CPAP machine was the hardest moment of my life until they told me it was time to leave and they wheeled me away from my babies. Not being able to hold them or see them was THE hardest moment of my life. I knew they were in good hands. I knew they were going to be okay but, I just wanted to be with them. I wanted to talk to them and hold their hand. Instead I lay helpless in my bed and let out the most heart wrenching sobs as we went up the elevator to my room.
*Do NOT keep scroolling if you do not want to see pictures from my c-section. There is blood*
Malia Jean: born at 9:37 pm 3 lbs 11 oz, 16.5 inches long
Mathis Joseph: born at 9:39 pm, 3 lbs 8 oz, 16 inches long
Lucas Edward: born at 9:40 pm, 2 lbs 14 oz, 15.5 inches long